Inspiration gave them motivation to move on out of their isolation

I got yelled at walking down the street today. Again. It happens here, it's just the way it is. I was walking back from the grocery store with the kid in the stroller. While we were there, I saw two punks- real ones, the kind that are 14 and angry and very misunderstood. All three of us had our headphones on.

There's a reason for that. Because people yell at us. People here yell at those of us that look different, they yell and stare and shake their heads. Honestly, sometimes it feels like an act of bravery just to get out of my car and pump some gas. 

People don't talk shit everyday, and there are some people that are nice, but often even the ones that are nice sometimes are just... not, exactly. I was at a party recently, a family kind of event, and ended up on the deck just getting totally passive-aggressively reamed by all these women that I thought would get it.

Anyway, the point to all this is, you know, I think about my kid. If I get called a freak while we're out for a stroll, what's going to happen when he's old enough to understand English. Is he gonna start asking me things like, "Mom, what's a carpetmuncher?" or "Mom, why don't people like your clothes?" or "Mom, why do boys in pickup trucks yell at you?"

And why do they, anyway? Experience has shown that after they've had a few beers they totally want to have sex with us (and suck our fag friends off).

Matching leopard!

Alphabutt

He likes his little saucer thing and he grabs all his toys and stuffs them in by his belly.

I said I would never listen to kid music, but I just got Kimya Dawson's kid album, Alphabutt, and it is pretty adorable in a not gross way. She sings a song about how there's hair under her arms because she's an animal and they play KAZOOS! I'm a fan of the kazoo. The kid seems to be really into a song called Wiggle My Tooth. Pee-Pee in the Potty kind of made me want to kill myself immediately, though. So we'll just skip over that one.

Sunbeams and some beans

My mom got him this little sun hat. It's got lightning bolts on it.

New skill:

Kissing! He grabs your neck skin with his little pincers and mashes his drooley open mouth on your jaw.

Just the way I like it.

He's now entirely better, but I'm still suffering. Having pneumonia while taking care of a baby is... hard. I mean, you're sick, right? What do you do when you're sick? Hopefully lie in bed as often as possible, doze in and out of sleep, drink lots of fluids, I dunno, rest, anyway, that's the main thing. 

Which is impossible with a baby.

Those of you that already have kids are probably rolling your eyes, saying, yeah yeah, get used to it, your time to yourself is over and seriously, stop complaining. But I'm writing this to educate those of you who are child-free and to encourage you to use birth control, like 5 forms of it, until you can afford a live-in nanny, a house with a floor that you can have all to yourself, and efficient access to a doctor that won't refuse to see you until you send some arbitrary document, like a telephone bill, to your eligibility worker.

Anyway, my point is, thank god I've got help, because my mom's had him in her room the past three or four nights (and I cursed myself for not buying some Nyquil and really enjoying those nights off, but I didn't know I was going to be sick for so long) and she's taken care of him in the evenings and during the day this weekend, so that's kept me from killing myself. She also kindly paid the $325 bill for Urgent Care so I could find out why I was dying and get some antibiotics.

But even still (remember that phrase from, like, middle school? Even still! [brat voice essential]) this shit is hard. I've been sick for about one and a half, maybe even two weeks now. Hopefully this gets the sick out of my system and it won't happen again for, like, twenty years or so. 

I love you, this is a robbery

In the time that I've had this baby, I have watched:

2 seasons of Weeds

1 season of Queer as Folk

2 seasons of Sex and the City

2 seasons of Celebrity Rehab

1 season of Sober House

1 season each of The City, The Hills, and The Real World

1 season of LA Ink

2 seasons of America's Next Top Model

2 or 3 seasons of Project Runway

1 season of The L Word

2 seasons of Gossip Girl

2 seasons of Mad Men

The Warriors

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

Wassup Rockers

27 Dresses

Failure to Launch

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

The Sex and the City movie (twice)

9 to 5

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains

Love Song for Bobby Long

Friday Night Lights

Knocked Up

Juno

The Secret Life of Bees

Slumdog Millionaire

In and Out

Burn After Reading

....and I know there's more that I can't remember....

This is what I've watched at home, mostly just me and the baby, occasionally with my mom.

How many hours of my life have I spent watching this stuff?? I don't even own a television set.

This might not seem like a lot to you, but I grew up without a TV! It's always been a point of pride for me, but shit. Have a baby and all that crap-- pride, dignity, perky body parts-- just goes right out the window.

The unheard music

San Francisco friends:

My April trip will be the 17th-26th and will coincide with Jack's 5 years and a Bite/Poison Control show at Benders! Hope to see you all.

xoxo

Fear of freedom

I just can't stand the idea of instilling fear in your child, obsessing about germs, and using monsters to get your kids to behave, etc. 

A few recent examples: I hung out with a friend last week who told her daughter not to go on the big slide because "it's scawwy!!" (really? you further insult her ability to decide for herself by using a baby voice?) and told her she had to hold her hand near the street because "there's monsters!" Recently I laid the kid on his play mat on the back patio, and my mom twitched and fretted, finally scooping him up because she was worried about dirt.

 I just think there is a difference between keep your kids safe, and being a paranoid mess. Also, I believe in telling your kids the truth (like, hold my hand because I don't want you to run out into the street and get hit by a car, not "there's monsters!)

Rebecca Woolf has written several entries about fear in her blog, Girl's Gone Child:

It may be impossible for a child to get abducted while on a leash but it's also pretty damn difficult for our children to skip whilst wearing armor.

White trash baby?

Look at him, holding his very own bottle of kool-aid

Just kidding. We're both sick as dogs, and it's Pedialyte.