Saturday, January 31, 2009

Get adicted

We had a dance party. The video's only about 6 seconds, though, dunno why. At this point, a dance party is pretty much just me singing along while he kicks his legs a lot. So 6 seconds is really all you need to get the idea.

...then he choked on his spit and the party was over.

All we ever wanted was everything

Cute faces

This is what we do, every couple hours:

And I've decided: No more posts of me without makeup! I'm looking a little haggard.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Sweet and tender hooligan

Things I said I'd never do: use a pacifier, a Baby Bjorn, or dress him in blue.
All three in one picture:

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Cruisin' at the show

Ladyfest LA 2009

Baby's first show
All or Nothing H.C.

Potential Lunatics

He loved it! 

Friday, January 23, 2009

Blinded by the light

Gus' tail doubles as a sleeping eye mask

Plasmatics shirt from Noelle and Sara

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Systematic death

A Crass dance party in celebration of his first photo id...

System, system, system.
Send him to school.
System, system, system.
Force him to crawl.
System, system, system.
Teach him how to cheat.
System, system, system.
Kick him off his feet!

And some older pictures:

I am Jack's pout.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Monday, January 19, 2009

Today is the day, okay?

Being a new mom is weird. 

I worry about things like public school vs. home school vs. alternative school, cloth vs. recycled paper/chlorine free vs. name brand diapers, child care. I worry about people calling social services, about my kid getting taken away from me, about not being a good (enough) mom. 

I think about things like getting settled somewhere, getting a puppy, a house, whatever, and still retaining my rebellious self. I think about what rebellion even means for me, now. I think about gender and class and race in a new way; I think about Disney characters more than I have since I first stopped shaving my armpits and started shaving my head. 

Then there's the stuff that's happened to my body. My skin actually feels different, I've got tendonitis in my right wrist and my thumb randomly dislocates, my bits are forever changed. My hair's brown. 

I do things that I said I'd never do, like coo and babytalk and dress him in blue and use a pacifier and carry him in his carseat and use disposable diapers. Sometimes it's all too much, and I'm exhausted and I'm sick of his neediness and I want someone my own age to touch my boobs for once but I'm too tired to even flirt and he's crying, again, and I can't take it anymore and then this happens:
He falls asleep in my arms and snores so lightly and I can smell his soft, milky breath and I think about how I grew him in my body, how my insides somehow built him, and I remember when I first saw him as a little flashing bean on the ultrasound at six weeks. And if it doesn't make it all worth it, it at least makes it one of the coolest things I've ever done.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Nuclear war (on the dance floor)

A bunch of pictures I never posted:

Two and a half weeks old.

Six days old. I still have his little belly button scab.

Four days old.

Ex teenage rebel

Saturday, January 17, 2009

You could feel the sky

He almost always sleeps with his nose in the air like this. Why? No one knows.

Buggie techinica

Friday, January 16, 2009

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Gendering babies

I went to the mall yesterday to exchange some baby gifts. I went into two stores, and all the saleswomen cooed over Luca. They all thought he was a girl. "How old is she?" "How much did she weigh?" "She's beautiful!" And I replied, "She's 2 1/2 months." "She weighed 6 pounds." "Thanks!"  

After all this she-ing, I asked if I could change her in the fitting room. So I went back, laid her down on the table, got out the supplies for her diaper change, opened her diaper and... !!! There was a penis! She had a penis. And I forgot.