My mom got him this little sun hat. It's got lightning bolts on it.
Kissing! He grabs your neck skin with his little pincers and mashes his drooley open mouth on your jaw.
Just the way I like it.
He's now entirely better, but I'm still suffering. Having pneumonia while taking care of a baby is... hard. I mean, you're sick, right? What do you do when you're sick? Hopefully lie in bed as often as possible, doze in and out of sleep, drink lots of fluids, I dunno, rest, anyway, that's the main thing.
Which is impossible with a baby.
Those of you that already have kids are probably rolling your eyes, saying, yeah yeah, get used to it, your time to yourself is over and seriously, stop complaining. But I'm writing this to educate those of you who are child-free and to encourage you to use birth control, like 5 forms of it, until you can afford a live-in nanny, a house with a floor that you can have all to yourself, and efficient access to a doctor that won't refuse to see you until you send some arbitrary document, like a telephone bill, to your eligibility worker.
Anyway, my point is, thank god I've got help, because my mom's had him in her room the past three or four nights (and I cursed myself for not buying some Nyquil and really enjoying those nights off, but I didn't know I was going to be sick for so long) and she's taken care of him in the evenings and during the day this weekend, so that's kept me from killing myself. She also kindly paid the $325 bill for Urgent Care so I could find out why I was dying and get some antibiotics.
But even still (remember that phrase from, like, middle school? Even still! [brat voice essential]) this shit is hard. I've been sick for about one and a half, maybe even two weeks now. Hopefully this gets the sick out of my system and it won't happen again for, like, twenty years or so.